There were a variety of shocks to my system in this metropolitan called NYC that I could delve into in another post, yet, simply put:
I fell in love with this place.
We stayed at a youth hostile in uptown Manhattan that was actually quite quaint and clean and cheap and there were people from all around the world staying in this dorm-style building smack-dab in the middle of the city. It was inspiring just walking around that place, knowing that there were personalities and physical traits that were so different, yet, we were all brought to this captivating place in the world that promised so much life and opportunity.
American Youth Hostile Manhattan, NY, NY
One of my dearest friends and running-accomplice, Alice, and I had the urge to wake up at 6 AM to do our morning work-out, as well as to explore the city. (Yes, we knew we were going to have long days. Yes, we knew that we could possibly be in a dangerous part of "town"...if you can call it a town... Anyways, we really, really love to run.)
Despite the initial "I must be crazy" effect that this early morning run decision gave me, it was well worth the energy that it required. Alice and I found that Central Park was a close .35 miles away and we could get there in less then a couple of minutes....
Stumbling upon a location as well-known as Central Park accidently is rather surreal. You should try it sometime.
Okay, definitely not on a run. Also, this is definitely my friend Hailey, not Alice... but it IS Central Park!
After two mornings of running at the park, we decided to explore a few blocks North of our hostile where Columbia University was located. It was before the traffic had begun and the streets were filled with bustling business people and it was, for a lack of a better word, really cool. In this unexpected quiet, while moving right along the sidewalk, we run by this massive, glorious Cathedral that is impossible to miss. We're talking.... massive.
Later I discovered that what we were gawking at was The Cathedral Church of Saint John Divine, and boy, was it divine.
I'm a "gitterdone-kinda-person" so I'm grateful Alice was with me, because she suggested that we stop running to see if the doors to the Cathedral were open so we could look inside. We walked up several stairs and hestiated to touch the heavy-looking door, but we pulled and it was open. The creaking of the old hinges echoed for what seemed to be miles and our tiptoe-ing echoed almost as much.
The church on the inside was more stunning then my Nebraska-girl mind could have pictured, (and my annoyance towards Alice for wanting to stop our run had been forever eliminated).
The place was decorated with stained glass and sparkly things and marble floors and everything to create a remarkable piece of architecture and, by the pure beauty of the scene, I almost turned back because of my sweaty, running-shorts and t-shirt appearance.
However, we kept walking silently towards the alter that was the center point of the entire framework, stopping along the way to read plaques and verses that were placed in the main portion of the church.
Arriving at that alter felt like making it to the peak of the mountain and I wasn't even sure if we were supposed to be there, but we stepped onto the platform anyways.
Upon this moment of pivotal awe of the beauty before our eyes, what caught my attention was....
A piece of trash.
Sitting in the middle of a place that was meant to be holy for a King.
When I saw this small piece of paper from some fast food or bakery establishment, it is almost as if the beauty of the moment depreciated a bit. It actually completely took my attention from what was once taking my breath away.
Usually it takes realizations from moments such as these a few days, months, or years to arrive, however, I felt like God was speaking so clear, right at that place and time, through that piece of trash and I could hear him saying these two things:
1) "This is what you do to my people. You create a church that seems to be so perfect. You try to create an environment, a life to please me. And you just shoo away all who may ruin your perfect little life."
2) "Kristin: this is how awesome I AM! Even when you feel so inadequate, like you do not belong, like you do not deserve to be loved... You belong here."
I do not feel the need to elaborate these things that I felt God communicating to me, however, I want to share them with you to take them as you will, because, I suppose I cannot be sure if God was actually saying these things, but this is what resonated in me...
and I know God was present in this moment.
I think about this picture very often, and God continues to speak through that out-of-place piece of trash.
If meeting God is more beautiful then this place that I still remember demonstrating how amazing his love is for me....
....and how much he wants to love the people that I feel like don't belong
...and how the place where God dwells is in us, not even in glorious things man has made....
Then, God's love should be taking my breath away.
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