I'm not that awesome.

It was a cold and windy day.

No, it was a frigid and blustery day.

It was a bitter cold blustery day.

The bike paths were clear of ice and snow and my Under Amour gear was warm. My mind needed to be cleared. I wanted to go on a run.

Against the advice of my loving family:

 “You’ll freeze to death, Kristin. Can’t you just run on a treadmill for once?”

“Kristin, it’s supposed to be 45 degrees tomorrow. Just wait.”

“Are you crazy?”

“You are crazy.”

I decided to go for it.

I put on several layers and squeezed my shoes over two pairs of socks.

Although it looked cold from the door and I could feel the draft coming through the cracks in the window, nothing mattered.

I stepped outside. Instead of feeling the cold, my soul was wakened by the brisk atmosphere. With each stride I took pride in my toughness.

I. Am. UNSTOPPABLE!

Just as I felt this inner satisfaction, I see someone running down the bike path.

“How could this be?” I thought to myself. “Surely no one is as hardcore as I.”

The person that was running towards me was a man. A man with a tank top, shorts, and a sweatband that communicated: “Don’t mess with me, little, pathetic person!”

He was running at an impeccable pace. His muscles were as defined as the difference between black and white. His hair was spiked up and his skin was shiny.

Suddenly my pride was vanquished. I felt frostbite come over my entire body. The wind made my eyes water.

I said to myself, “Can I please turn around now?”

Isn’t this how things seem to go?

Just when I think I’m awesome I’m reminded that there’s someone bigger, something better. The countless reasons I’m inferior are brought to surface just as I start to win.

Ah, sweet humility.

(Not So Random) Question: How would a king choose to enter the world?

In a parade? A sparkly unveiling from heaven? A blockbuster film? Reality television?

How about through the birth of a young unmarried woman in a dirty barn because she was not good enough to stay in a hotel for the evening?

Oh, by the way, she’s a pregnant virgin and she’s about to be married.

No?

That’s what I thought.

Though Jesus had the most revolutionary birth in history, it came in the most unexpected way.

God had every reason for the hinge of His plan for the universe to come in extravagant form.

That’s not God, though. That’s why I love Him.

God himself chose to come to the world in a humble state.

If I am not that great, why do I believe I'm deserving of my luxurious lifestyle of blessings and comfort? And the truth is, I'm really not that great. I’m actually messed up; a complete wreck.

Reminders of my inferiority should not cause me to dwell in my shortcomings, rather will give more room for God to rebuild in my brokenness.

When humbled, I am brought back to the manger where Jesus laid and the cross where he died. In these gifts in the perfect story of God, I am restored.

One of the many reasons that I choose to follow Jesus is because His gospel is one of forgetting my self; a message found in the midst of gospels pursuing everything that will serve only me.

Every time I serve myself and praise myself, eventually, I will see that guy running by in the shorts again… reminding me I’ll never be the best. Instead of turning around and giving up because I'm relying on my own strength, I invest in a God who will make me strong. 

A self-serving life will always become miserable. However, when I accept room for a God greater than  I could ever deserve is when I experience the full purpose of my existence.

This happens to be a life that's not about me.

Merry Christmas to You.

Please remember that though you may do good things and you may be blessed, you’re not that awesome.

Do know God restores you in all the places you fall short.

Because He’s just that good.